Hey everyone. Not feeling the best right now. I got back about two hours ago from dropping Jay off at the airport so he could catch his plane back to Dallas. I hate those times. Right now I'm back at home, laying in bed, feeling pretty numb. I know tonight though, when I try to go to sleep and he's not here, it's going to hit me and I'll get upset.
Things are so natural when he's here. It feels like home. Well, of course, it IS home, but you know what I mean. He fits in so nicely with everything and everyone here, much more nicely than anyone else I have dated. And more importantly, he and I get along incredibly well. There are no weird things, weird quirks that have popped up, like that asshole Matt had. I mean, there are weird things with Jay, like the fact that he'll randomly start to beatbox, or talk in a strange accent, but those are all perfect, because I do things like that too! We also see eye-to-eye on everything political, religious, and all that jazz. It's awesome. On the way to the airport, even though it was a somber trip, we just talked and talked about anything and everything. It's so easy to be around him. He's such a wonderful, caring, thoughtful person, and he treats me like gold. He's amazing. I just wish he could get up here to live ASAP. With school it's difficult, transferring and such, but it feels like we're wasting so much time that we could be spending together. I guess it's probably because of my past, but I'm so afraid that something is going to go wrong, something environmental or random or stupid, that will ruin everything. As I write that, though, I am getting word that he has landed safely in Dallas, so that is one big sigh of relief. I'm hoping he can make another trip here for Christmas. Right now it's more feasible that he come here during a break from school, considering he doesn't also have a job to worry about, and it's hard for me to get away for long periods of time, especially during this time of year. Luckily he loves it here, or seems to, and he fits in so well with my friends and family. I can't emphasize that enough, that's so important to me. Matt was so incredibly awkward to be around, my family and friends bristled at that and at him because he was just so strange, and it's nice that Jay just seems to blend right in like he's been there forever.
Bo sat on his lap today. I know that's a little thing, but Bo very very rarely sits on anybody's lap (except Mommy's, of course.) It was just another little something that was cute, that my babies, especially the skiddish one, loves him too. And he loves them, he's so sweet, talks to them and pets them and doesn't even care about the cat hair. It's awesome.
i just want him here so we can get our life going, together. It sucks that he's so far away. I don't want him to uproot his life, but it's very easy for us to fly there to visit, and to fly his friends up for a visit as well. In this day in age, it's pretty easy to conduct friendships long-distance. Relationship, not so much. I mean, Jason and I do as good of a job as anyone can, I think, but they're still no walk in the park. Something like him leaving stays with me for a long long time, and I'll be upset and clingy and such probably for the next five days. After that it dulls a little, of course, but I would feel a lot better if we started making plans, plans for another visit, plans for a move, something. I just need something.
I think I'll lay in bed, watch trashy TV, and eat Krispy Kremes.
I'll update again soon.
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