Hello everyone. As I write this I'm laying in bed with my laptop, watching Monday Night Football with peppermint candles burning. Pretty good stuff. I have off tomorrow, which is awesome, but I'm still not all that happy. Yesterday was rough, because of work, and today I really miss Jay.
It sucks being so far away from each other. It's just not normal, being around a person every single minute for five days in a row, and then not seeing them at all for a month or more. It's just not the best way to maintain a relationship.
We were talking yesterday about him moving, and he proposed the idea of finishing out his school YEAR down there at UNT and then moving up here after that in May. To be honest, that suggestion brought me to tears. Although it might be the easiest in some respects, it would be the hardest in others. We both go on and on about how agonizing it is to be away from each other, it would be even more horrible to do it for six more months. I don't want to even think about that, let alone do it. I want him here. I feel like we're wasting time being away from each other when that's all we want. Jay and I know better than a lot of people that life is short and you should make as much of it as you can, and being together would be making the most of it. I want to be happy, and I'm happiest when I'm with him. It just makes sense. Everyone loves him, he loves it here, he's not too fond of Texas, and he doesn't have all that much holding him there. In fact, he told me last night that before his dad passed away, he was planning on moving up to South Dakota anyway.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, at least a little bit. I know things will work out with him, I know this is different than any other relationship has ever been, but in light of what I have gone through, I'm still a little scared. But hell, so is he. I think it would be a worse sign if we WEREN'T scared, because we wouldn't be being realistic. Trust me, I have looked as hard as I can for red flags, for strange, scary quirks, for ANYTHING that would unsettle me about him. There isn't anything. Not ONE thing. I've known him for over three years, he's been here twice and I've been there once, and nothing has rubbed me the wrong way or gotten me suspicious or apprehensive. My family and friends really like him, the cats like him, and of course, I love him to death. He's funny and smart and adorable and thoughtful and respectful and loving and wonderful. He's really just the most amazing person, and he's absolutely perfect for me. We're perfect for each other.
Now can you see why I just want him HERE?
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